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The Secret Parade

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Professional Fridge Raider

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May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 November 2012 March 2013 August 2013 October 2013 December 2013 November 2015

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Sunday, July 15, 2012
The Great Wall
I wasn't actually intending to climb the Great Wall of China.

The plan was to just walk up ten steps and then declare shamelessly that "I have climbed the Great Wall!"

There were some fellow slackers who thought like me, but somehow I ended up losing them at the foot of the Great Wall. -.- And all I was left with was Jerome (the guy who had a sports scholarship through college) and Ben (the volleyballer who has the body of a Kenyan sprinter) .






















































Yeah. Please keep in mind that I'm the joke that got caught for trying to take a short-cut when doing a 2.4km practice run in school.

So we started the climb. The steps were steep and uneven, and the climbing space was really narrow so we had to walk in a single file. I insisted on going last because I didn't want my ass to be in any of their faces HAHA. And also because I'd feel bad if I flatten anyone should I slip and roll down the Great Wall.

If I were climbing with some of the fellow jokers in my life, the journey up would be very different. Other than asking for a break every 30 seconds, I'd likely be trying to push Beu down the steps and purposely sticking my butt in the face of the person climbing behind me. But I've only known these guys for a week, so my female pride pushed me to keep going at it as if I actually could. I actually even tripped and fell once but made it very discreet HAHA. I don't think any of them realized.

Three short breaks and plenty of good conversations later, I actually made it to the top. In my flip-flops. Looking like a siao char bor, but that's okay, cos I was a siao char bor standing at the top of the Great Wall. YAY! Achievement unlocked!





A dancing Indian!

The Forbidden City

I really do wish that this place remained forbidden to tourists. It was SO crowded and all the architecture looked the same (I'm really not the most cultured person). The toilets were the most traumatizing. There were so many people jostling inside, it was as if free donuts were being given out in there. And this woman behind me somehow believed that it was perfectly socially acceptable to put her hand at the small of a stranger's back and keep pushing that person forward. It baffles me. I normally wouldn't protest in public situations like this because I'm a coward (HAHA) but after I almost fell after all her pushing, I was like, "ni gan ma tui wo?! (why on earth are you pushing me?!) People were spitting on the floor, and for those who didn't want to wait 'in line' (aprosthephes used because it was such a free-for-all situation that there was barely any queuing being done), there was actually a big bucket in the middle for people to urinate directly in there.

I immediately looked away, foolishly thinking that the act of averting my eyes would prevent the permanent scarring of my mind's eye.

Not so simple.

Cubicles are meant to guarantee privacy, aren't they? But you can have cubicles with sky-high walls and that wouldn't make a difference if the door doesn't lock. I subsequently opened the door on two women shitting in the squat toilet. Omg. I felt a bit faint after that - it must be a symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder.

In other news, the rumours are all true. My roomie and I had meat dumpling soup for 60 cents (10 dumplings per serving!) and ended up with laosai.

At least I know I'm having a pretty authentic China experience. I don't even dare to hope that the filling consisted of pork. As long as I wasn't chomping on bits of fetus, I'm good. I'm good.


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