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The Secret Parade

About

Professional Fridge Raider

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May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 November 2012 March 2013 August 2013 October 2013 December 2013 November 2015

Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name
Friday, August 24, 2012
It has been a fun and tiring start to the semester. Somehow, though, I just feel like I don't have the energy to keep up with everything that's going on. My heart isn't settled and my head is always in another place. I feel like I take longer to respond to things and situations. There were a couple of times I created awkward situations because someone would ask me something but I wouldn't respond because I didn't realize what was going on HAHA. I'm not up to speed at all and sometimes it really feels like I have no presence of mind.

Need to get my head screwed back on pronto.

Anyway, some photo updates about what's been going on!



The five of us went to check out Gardens at the Bay (Or is it Gardens by the Bay? I'm a lousy Singaporean.) But because we could only make it in the evening, it was getting dark and we were too kiam siap to take out our wallets to enter the paid sections. So all we saw were the Super Trees.

They were boring, so I decided to amuse myself by pretending to be a tree, since I was wearing brown anyway.


Vicky: Eh your legs look quite slim here! 
Me: I was pressing them together. HAHAHAHAHA.


I think I was very successful in my theatrical attempt, only that I looked more like the Whomping Willow instead of a graceful Birch tree. Vicky just looks like a praying mantis.


Dinner at Buckaroos! It was funny because right when we ate our last buffalo wing, I wiped the sauce from corners of my lips and said, "Supper, guys?"

And then we really ended up going to Jalan Kayu to nomz more. Yay! :D


Rochor Tauhuay with Becky! It was a last minute supper so I wasn't able to check how to get there beforehand. And I couldn't google maps it either because I'm outdated old-school and don't have a data plan.

Me: Eh how to walk there from Dhoby Ghaut ah?
Becky: Huh?!?! Idk!!! Hahahah omg ask a stranger?

*15 minutes later*

Becky: Are you okay???
Me: Gimme 10 mins HAHA
Becky: Ommggg wru!!! So scary
Me: This nice uncle is giving me a lift, he's so kind!
Becky: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA omg pls gimme his carplate number
Me: I'm kidding la HAHA I thought you'd freak out
Becky: ... One day if you really say someone is raping you I'm not gonna come to your rescue

Anyway I DID manage to find the place in the end WITHOUT asking strangers for directions, yay! I was also very happy that we managed to get a table at the alleyway because the queue for tauhuay was so long and I was wondering why no one wanted to sit there.

Five minutes later as I happily slurped my tauhuay while chatting with Becky, I spotted three cockroaches scuttling in our direction, and I found my answer.




Steamboat! I think we portrayed a very greedy and bimbotic image HAHA. Firstly, cos we were easily out-eating the six NSFs sitting next to us. Secondly, cos we kept squealing cos the oil kept splattering on us. Sian.


To think that I was wondering why my hair was sticky after taking this picture. HAHAHAHA. SIAN.



A very sad-looking potluck. But it got better when more people started coming with their food offerings! My contribution (the two large paus) literally looked like an offering. All they need are joss sticks sticking out of them.


Played random board games and Taboo! Jeremy sums it up pretty well (http://jeremysng.wordpress.com/2012/08/22/the-many-facets-of-taboo-players/), except that he makes me sound like the joke that I really am.


I don't know who looks more like a special child - me or him.
And for the rest of the night...




Story of my life. 



Tuesday, August 14, 2012
People I'm Proud Of 

July 9, on Facebook Messenger
Chua Jia Long:
*izzy should i go to africa??
*climb mt kilimanjaro
*go hunt with bushmen
Isabel Chia:
*YES
*i'm planning to go next summer
*you should totally do it
*if you catch a wild boar, please tell me
Chua Jia Long:
*kill, you mean
*i don't think there are wild boars there
*maybe wilderbeest
Isabel Chia:
*HAHA wilderbeest
*you're really a caveman
Chua Jia Long:
*time to earn that nickname



The next thing I know...












The dude is in Tanzania. Sitting on a rock. Rubbing sticks together to make fire.

He didn't manage to catch any wilderbeest, but if the picture above doesn't scream 'caveman,' I don't know what does.

And oh, just a casual aside: He did climb the mountain.


I can't believe I got so excited when I realized that I managed to climb to the height of the clouds at Taishan. Please compare and contrast the following pictures:


This is me 'climbing to the clouds.' As for Jia Long...




... Yeah.

It doesn't help that on the day I climbed Taishan, I think the clouds were hanging particularly low because of the weather HAHAHA.

Anyway, this is a picture that he captioned, which I found HILARIOUS.



Shortly before this photo was taken, one of the local Maasai was observing me and asked me to jump to see if the slippers fit, I obliged and gave a small hop and a crowd of them laughed at me. My guide later told me that in their culture, for courtship, men usually had to square off by jumping and the highest jumper would win the gal. My guide said they saw my 'jump' and said in swahili: "This muzungu will never get married". Might explain the link between race and professional NBA players.

Another possible reason for his dim marriage prospects is his very masculine way of accessorizing.



The dude does all these garang things like hiking the Tour du Mont Blanc and casually trotting off to Africa to climb mountains, and he just has to seal the masculine image by wearing this hat. HAHAHA.

But really, I'm just nitpicking. Because I'm jealous.

Me: I'm looking at your Africa pictures. You have no idea how jealous I am.
JL: Eh you were the one who told me to go for it.
Me: I will not be outdone! I can't be as garang as you are, but I will have my adventures too!
JL: We will be one-upping each other for a long time then

In all seriousness though, I really do feel proud of you bro. I'M A PROUD MAMA.



So Jia Long works the muscles, and Ivan works the dough.


I think it was two years back when I bumped into Ivan in Cold Storage at Holland V. Jo, Beu and I were buying minced pork to make our own jiao zi (HAHA), and Ivan was shopping for "some flour and other ingredients."

Me: Oh are you going to bake or something!
Ivan: Yeah I'm learning to bake bread!
Beu: We're making jiao zi and tang yuan! Hehehehehe! *I'm not trying to depict Beu as a weirdo in any way. She just... really is.*
Me: You're baking for fun?
Ivan: Oh not really, I'm actually thinking of starting something small, so I'm experimenting a little...

We said goodbye a few minutes later, and Beu and I discussed what just transpired. 

Me: Eh he said he wants to start something small. I think he wants to, like, bake cookies and sell them in Ziploc bags during Valentines Day or something. 

Ivan has always been a modest chap, so I shouldn't have been surprised that the 'something small' actually referred to a freaking cafe




Like a Boss, because... he is.

It's so staggering to think that the classmate that Beu and I used to (mildly) terrorize is now the owner of a cafe at SUTD. He can eat everything in the bakery/cafe without forking out a cent! He can decide to be guai lan and spit into your food without you knowing! He can let me sample his entire menu without paying! And guys, this business is very different from the instance when I tried selling agar-agar to raise funds. His stuff is legit.







I am clearly raving. I'd charge him for advertising, but this blog is more an 'i eat i trip i do embarrassing things' instead of a certain 'i eat i shoot i post,' so forget it. HAHA. But do check it out at: http://www.facebook.com/BreadYard!

I'm thankful to have friends like that who inspire me and keep me on my toes instead of on my ass. They always spur me to dream a little bigger.

But just when my heart swells with pride at what awesome friends I have...

1) Winston: Eh so I had to act in this play, and the director was forcing me to be a bird. I told him, "I'm terrible at acting! I'll be a very stiff bird."

(If you didn't get that joke, don't worry. It's those who laugh immediately that need help.)


2) Ke Qin, Sieu Ping and I are discussing brunch places after class.

Sieu Ping: Have you been to Spruce?
Ke Qin: No, where is it?
Sieu Ping: Oh it's near some grasslands!
Me: WOW thanks!


3) The four of us girls are walking along a narrow corridor. G suddenly exclaims, "Oh no I need to fart!!!" And the most logical move in her mind is to immediately overtake all of us so that she can run to the toilet ahead.

J: WALAO NOW WE ALL HAVE TO WALK INTO YOUR FART,

We did. I'm traumatized.



/edit: So Jia Long has read this post. He's honoured, and doesn't seem to mind that I made fun of his hat. He also wants to visit Ivan's cafe together, which means that I'll be seeing the two imba guys in the same place, at the same time. Excite! Let me know if any of you want signatures. Or free bread. Or their phone number.


Monday, August 06, 2012
The Best Bits of Summer School


Playing Kiddy Cards Games
This is rather embarrassing, but my repertoire of card games is about as big as Kate Moss’ waist. I remember being taught how to play Dai Dee, Bridge and Poker before, but after five minutes my eyes would start glazing over and people start wondering how I made it this far in the education system. Up till now, I still know Clubs as ‘Cauliflower.’ Enough said.

So the rest ended up having to play brainless card games with me. Stuff that’s suitable for ages 5 and up. Like Heart Attack. And I start laughing to myself like an idiot when I think of the funny moments:

1) When Seow Tian screamed louder than me every single time (and I do yell pretty loudly). He actually kind of screams like Bruce Lee.
2) My reaction time was so slow that sometimes I only ended up putting my hands out AFTER the hand slapping has been done. So I ended up slapping the slapper.
3) The game got so intense and violent that spots of blood started appearing on the bed sheets (we were using the bed as a surface to play). Turned out that Teck Wei’s arm was bleeding. BLEEDING.
4) We kept losing cards because they would fly in all directions, and most of them somehow always ended up under my ass.


From Flab to… Flab
I climbed to the top of the Great Wall in Beijing. I jogged 6km to the Tianjin Eye and back. And I even climbed 80% of a mountain, reaching 1200m above sea level before I had to turn back to catch the train.

As always, I start out very enthusiastic and determined. I always overestimate myself. It’s like that time Jia Long bet me that I couldn’t be demure for a week. I was so confident. Five minutes later, I kicked the door open when leaving class.



































Excited and raring to go, blissfully unaware of the pain that was to follow.





































THIS IS A PAEDOPHILE’S WONDERLAND. So many precocious little boibois. Too bad the girl with the yellow headband is ruining it. Go away leh. 




At this point I think the fatigue started to mess with my mental faculties.





































And… it continued.




































But at least I retained a shred of my dignity when I refused to buy a walking stick like the rest of the two jokes did. HAHAHAHAHA. Old fogeys.
It was also hilarious how Teck Wei was being super perky and encouraging like an OGL, but Seow Tian just kept bursting his bubble.

Teck Wei: It's okay guys, take one step at a time.
*proceeds to leap up the steps*
Seow Tian: YOU'RE TAKING TWO.

Teck Wei: It's okay guys, just imagine that there's a 5 star hotel at the top.
Seow Tian: Not as if we're going to stay there...

Teck Wei: Almost there guys, almost there.
Me: THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID TWO HOURS AGO


ICE SKATING



So I began by spending most of the time pointing and laughing at Ben and Jeremy, who were first-timers at ice-skating. Ben was desperately clutching onto the protective panels like how I would cling onto the last slice of prata during a famine. And Jeremy was making a lot of hapless yelping noises, some beyond the frequency of normal human hearing.

And then Maruyi challenged me to a race. We stood at the starting line and I stuck my ass out, ready to chiong.

Me: Okay! ONE, TWO, THREE -




SPLAT.

I’d like to think that it was my un-Asian chest that weighed me down, but I’d honestly have to pin it down to a sheer lack of coordination and balance. I didn’t even fall on my knees or fall sideways, which would at least have been more glamourous.

I fall face-first, my entire body making contact with the ice. Imran and Maruyi immediately rush to my help, concerned and frantic. I’m laughing, which isn’t easy because the wind has been knocked out of me. My first instinct is to check my collarbones to make sure that the other one didn’t break (God forbid I need another scar to create some sort of symmetry). Everything is fine except for spots which I know are going to turn deep purple the next day. All is well with the world - now my only concern is to get up gracefully.

Imran sticks his hand out to help pull me up.

I grab onto his forearm and my butt lifts an inch off the ground before I collapse back into an unglamourous heap on the ice.

You know, I do these things on purpose. Just checking to see if gravity is still working.


PEOPLE
I think I made a crappy first impression. We were all supposed to meet at the Beijing airport at a certain time but my flight got delayed. So because of me, all of them were waiting in the bus bay under the sun for about two hours. HAHAHAHA. When I finally arrived, I started frantically apologizing to everyone and they were all SO nice about it. “Oh, don’t worry about it!” “Oh, it’s okay!” “Oh, it’s fine!”

When I finally got to know the bunch better about a couple of weeks later, I brought up that incident and asked them how they really felt that day.

“YAH I was wondering, who is this stupid woman.”

“I was kind of drunk already and we had to wait for over two hours in the heat. Wah lao I wanted to kill you.”

“And then you came running over in your dress with a big suitcase. Wah, like a bimbo.”

I know that deep down they love me though. Very deep down. :P These are a few things that I will miss about the people:

1) Singing along loudly to cheesy ‘90s boyband music with my roomie in the middle of the night when the both of us are going crazy from writing our paper. And helping her order soy milk from KFC in my sleep.
2) Ernie’s laughter. I have finally found someone in the world with a laughter more horrendous than mine. There is yet hope for my marriage prospects.
3) Jogging to the Tianjin Eye with different people. Taking the wrong route, losing each other and having Teck Wei pace the streets for over half an hour looking for us. Dipping our feet in the water at night before realizing how gross it is when we saw how the river really looked like the next afternoon, and of course, singing along to M2M with the little boy.
4) Bombarding Imran with Malay jokes before realizing than he’s actually Indian. And then, making all sorts of Indian jokes (ACS trained me well for that one).
5) All the times I boo-ed people and got boo-ed in return. Real mature. 
6) Getting all excited over cheap dumplings - Ten for $0.60! And then, getting diarrhea.
7) Telling ghost stories with the girls and screaming when the doorbell rang -.-
8) Protecting the girls from getting hit on by yelling “WE’RE LESBIAN. WE’RE ALL LESBIAN” at anyone who approached us when we were dancing.
9) The numerous heart-to-heart talks on the bus, while touring, in the hotel, and over dessert.
10) Making faces at one another during class presentations 

Feeling depressed now. Shall go soak the pillow with my tears tonight. GOODNIGHT EVERYONE.


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