The Secret Parade
AboutProfessional Fridge Raider
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| Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name Friend's Name |
Monday, March 25, 2013If you scroll down to my last post, you'd see a one-liner about how I'm longing for adventure.I'm pretty sure that when I blogged that, I was envisioning myself: 1) Running (but not for very long) across a big green field (with overgrown grass cos that's how it looks like in Twilight) with the wind in my hair 2) Hitching rides from strangers on a cross-country adventure with only a baguette in my pocket and a backpack full of smelly clothes 3) Trekking through forests and sprinting away from wild boars cos my Adidas deodorant makes me smell like a big fruit I always have these romanticized ideals of what my great adventures would be like, but they are often a far cry from reality. Case in point: the last time I had an 'adventure,' I got stranded in the middle of nowhere amidst a freezing thunderstorm in Arizona with nothing but a porn shop for a landmark. The idea for yesterday's outing with Keqin and Sieuping was innocuous enough. We were going off the beaten track to visit the goat farm at Choa Chu Kang. In fact, it sounds like an excursion for preschool kids - how harmless can it be? But more on that later. Our first stop: Bollywood Veggies, a farm growing organic produce!  I'd love to say that I relished every moment of being away from the concrete jungle and surrounded by lush greenery. But I was actually just really craving ice kachang. After awhile, the different plants were all starting to look the same (i.e. green), because none of them were really bearing fruit. And so I found other ways to amuse myself.  HAHAHA I'm supposed to be looking seductive here, but I think I look more like I'm trying to control my bladder.  At the Lookout Point, looking out. BAHAHA. The only thing I managed to see was the shuttle bus arriving in the distance. Which is when we realized that we should probably run for the shuttle bus, which arrives only once every hour.  And so we ran. I sprinted like how I used to dash to the canteen whenever the recess bell rang, complete with wildly flailing arms and nary a shred of self-dignity. After looking like fools, we managed to catch the shuttle bus, yay!!! :D It turned out to be the wrong bus. But anyway, after 45 minutes of walking, we finally managed to reach the goat farm! MEHHHHHHHH (okay I'll shut up now HAHA).  LOVERZ.  Self-conscious goat smelling his ass. Maybe he didn't manage to find a lover like the other goats did.  This one decided that he could no longer tolerate another day of having his udders squeezed, and so proceeded to try ending it all. I don't think it worked. 
Drinking goats milk! I didn't buy any back because after seeing all the goats, I didn't really want to keep consuming what came out of their udders. Okay, so here comes the highlight of my post. The part where I almost didn't live to eat another peanut butter waffle. It was supposed to be a short walk to the Frog Farm. I don't know why I had so much confidence that we would find it easily, especially after incidents like the shuttle bus fiasco. I think somewhere along the way we got a little bit lost, and wandered into DARK, DANGEROUS TERRITORY.  Stop laughing. YES, it does say Puppy Centre. But referring to them as puppies is like calling a king cobra a mealworm. It didn't help that there were like ten of them. They started barking at us as though we had put their families on skewers and roasted them above an open fire. The two of them were walking behind me, and I could hear the panic in Sieuping's voice. "Eh, will they come after us?!" I turned back to reassure her. "Don't worry! There's a fence." What happened after that was a blur. Suddenly Ke Qin kept yelling a particular swear word - the one that was in Jennifer Lawrence's head when she tripped over her dress at the Oscar's. Sieuping was pointing frantically behind my shoulder, and the girl is super tan but for the first time she looked fair-skinned because all the colour had drained from her face. In all that chaos I started screaming like a bimbo too even though I had no idea what was going on. I turned behind to look. The dogs were out. And they were coming at us with the same look that I have in my eyes when I'm at a buffet. In that few seconds, the number of things that flashed across my head outnumbered any amount of food I have ever managed to squeeze onto my dinner plate during said buffet. Thought #1: WWBGD?! (What Would Bear Grylls Do?!) Thought #2: Should I run? Do I throw my lotus paste buns at them? What about throwing my lotus paste buns at them WHILE running? Thought #3: STOP, DROP AND ROLL. Wait, no... different kind of emergency. And as a show of utmost loyalty to friendship, at some point I might even have gestured frantically to the two girls and started yelling: "TAKE THEM! TAKE THEM!!!" Just when I was about to really stop, drop and roll, a car passed by and the sound of the engine made the dogs run back in. THANK GOD, because I was already preparing to jump into the vehicle, even if it meant flinging myself onto the laps of the three old men at the back seat. After that, we decided to give up on the Frog Farm. At that point, the only frogs I wanted to see were those on a dinner plate, stir fried with ginger and chilli. And it wasn't even the end of it, because we were miles away from civilisation, it was about to rain, and NONE of the passing cars were willing to stop for us. I mean, how malicious do we look! Two of us are carrying goats milk, and I'm there clutching my lotus paste buns with this retarded look on my face. We eventually ended up just making it all the way to the bus stop on foot, goats milk and lotus paste buns in hand. Next Sunday, I think I'll just stick to exploring the other side of my bed. |